Wow! I have been dealing with some up and downs that came out of no where. I thought I was doing really good with the new me. After all there’s not much I can do to change it.
I am still so appreciative of a second chance at life. I’m also grateful that we got it in the earlier stages. None of those things will ever be forgotten in my heart.
What I’m experiencing right now is the feelings of seeing ugly every time I have to look in the mirror.
I know these things are so trivial to you but they are deep to me.
Every day that more and more swelling goes out, the looks of the incision change. For a couple of days just out if no where it got real dark and it seemed like I was going to have a permanent dark shadow right below my eye.
I saw the surgeon last week. He said just as soon as the scabs are gone I can start the prosil. I’m not exactly sure what the stuff does but he said something about it actually changing the protons in my skin. It’s a irritant so that’s why the scabs have to be gone. It’s a silicone shield that holds in moisture and lets it get oxygen. Supposedly a perfect environment for a scar. Twelve weeks of that and then we go from there.
I think I’m just making adjustments to my attitude.
I think my immune system must be taxed because I feel like I have a bug. I have felt bad all day long. Will the day ever come? Will I ever feel normal again. I just want to have a good day. It seems like its been so long.