July 19 “Nine days healed”

I’m actually pleased with the progress with the treatment. I don’t know how many more i will need. I wish I could afford to take off twenty layers.

The red is still in the scar. It’s the part that Henry called Roly Polies…..right when it finally almost goes away its time for another treatment so I’m not sure what it looks like. It feels like its more level with the rest of my face so I think that’s what his goal is. He says time will be what lightens the scar the most.

Part of me thinks why in the world am I trying so hard to make this slash across my face look better when I stand a chance it will appear again some other place on me. They tell you to try and not worry so much about it returning but how do you not? I can’t just push it out of my mind and quit worrying. I’m wondering if I would have the strength to fight if it got bad.

I have my six month checkup on my heart this coming Monday. I’m sure everything will check out ok. I pray it does. Since they really don’t know what damaged my heart then it scares me a little that what ever it was could happen again. I don’t think it could take much more damage.

I know I’m worrying a little too much. This is my first heart checkup since the cancer all of a sudden appeared. I’m sure being anxious is normal. I’m trying to put things into perspective. Surely this is a normal feeling. I had a root canal get infected and I have to be careful with endocarditis. I take mega dose of antibiotics before dental procedures. I tried to get through to my Cardiologist to let him know I had a infection and couldn’t get past the nurse. She left me a message and said I needed to call my primary care doctor. Wellllll let me just say that a doctors staff can make or break his practice. I’m going to try my best to not have to see this particular nurse Monday. I just can’t possibly see how I can work with this heart doctor if I do not appreciate his nurse.

Wow, this didn’t turn out to be a very encouraging entry today. I do have some pictures…….promise to get them posted. It just seems like life takes up most of my days and hardly leaves me any extra time.

I promise next entry will be better. I really do feel encouraged that it will eventually look better with time.

My Jesus Calling devotional for July 19 hit it right on the nail….. Maybe I should share it here too.

Thank you so much for your comments. It really does encourage me. It reminds me that I really do have people walking on this journey with me. I couldn’t ask for better support.

Thank you, thank you…….I love and appreciate all of you.


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