I think my next blog I’m getting ready to write will be the last one. I’m so grateful to be doing so good and I wouldn’t trade for a million dollars that the cancer is staying away. It’s public, maybe it’s a good time to end it on a good note. Maybe I could get Dr. Jim or Dr. Julie to write a paragraph to end my blog. That might be fitting. Needless to say, I’m going to at least write one more and let you see pictures of the awesome work Dr. Jim did on me.
Wednesday I go back to get more stitches removed. I’m not positive if he will take them all out that day. I’m getting kind of irritable I think. They are not comfortable but hey, I don’t think they are meant to be. do that. I want the scar on my eyes to be really strait. That’s how I’d do it….ha ha …………but I didn’t decide to be a doctor. I think that’s part of my OCD where the corners of my towels have to be perfectly squared and smoothed out perfect is what’s feeding my anxiety. This sewing my face up this time is definitely causing me to act crazy. Will I ever be able to hide scars with the artistry of makeup? I know he did a lot of work underneath the skin and keeping your face symmetric, that is the most important thing I guess. He’s as good as you can get so I need to quit worrying and start trusting.
Gary and I went to Sam’s today. It was either get out in public or starve to death. Most everything we got at Sam’s was not eatable but we did stop at the outlet mall to get a phone case for Gary’s phone so we picked up some jalapeno Auntie Anne’s pretzels so that is actually what we had for dinner……..ha ha. right up my alley with some ice cream for dessert. People did look at me but I didn’t even care. As long as it’s strangers that see me that is okay, but if I saw someone I knew, I’d probably hide.
I’m just thinking out loud. It’s my blog, I can say what I want, right? maybe tomorrow I’ll share a few pictures. Sometimes I’m reluctant because the blog is open to the public and all my haters will enjoy the ugly pictures too.
One week ago today since my surgery. The jury is still out whether I’m glad I did it or not. Right at this moment I’m thinking not. The stitches come out tomorrow and that day can’t come fast enough. They are pulling and making me want to rub them and there’s one on my eye that makes me scream when I touch it. Eye’s are so tender. If I was brave enough, I’d cut them out myself. Some of them don’t even have knots in them. They just have long threads so I could just pull on them and I bet they would come out…………Okay, settle down, I won’t.
I’m trying to pick a gross picture to show you but there are so many I’m having a hard time choosing. I’ll find one or maybe take some time lapsed pictures showing the healing. So I far I just keep looking worse every day, not better. What’s the deal?
So here’s my first entry to my corrective procedure. One of my main goals was to have both my eyes match again and be the same size. Right now they do not. But Dr Jim has assured me it will get better and better every day. I believe him. I just have to be patient. You know me and being patient. This is a good test for me.
I think he used 2000 lb blue marlin test line to sew me back together. I’m hoping and praying it feels better when they are all cut out……
Here’s a picture of my chin, I’ll show you that much……..ha ha